Mental Health

 Look this week we talked at Cognitive Behavioral therapy.  I have been to therapy. I take daily medication. I have mental health struggles. I am very pro therapy. It helped me so much.  I was in a lot of pain for a long time. The mental agony. The thoughts. The pain. It was horrible. I am going to tell my story which may explain why therapy means so much to me. It is interesting however before a very specific event happened on my mission I was not open about my struggles as I am now. God is good. 

I was a normal kid. Well however normal a freshman in high school is. I was living in Lincoln, California. I had a group of friends. I went to church. Life was good. Not perfect. Sometimes stuff happens but life is very very good. And then one day as I sat in the chapel of the O Street Building one thought came into my head. A thought that changed everything. Have you ever seen the movie Inception? The idea is they are going to implant an idea into someone's mind.  This bad thought I had was taking over my brain. Soon more thoughts came. Compounding on top of one another. I was losing a battle against myself. My defense was to constantly think about killing myself. Not really a healthy thought to have. Till Senior year of High School I struggled. One day I just texted my bishop asking if we could talk. I told him what was up and he told me to tell my parents which I did. Once they knew I meant that alone was so helpful. Even though I knew the Savior knew exactly what I was going through, it was so comforting to have my parents know about it.

Then the fun began. Getting on medication. I take Prozac daily. Going to therapy. Voicing those things was very hard. But it was so worth it to get the help I needed. You know the ride up to therapy is something else. You are all stressed out. Then when you're leaving you are free as a bird. It is an amazing feeling. I put in a lot of hard work. I got better. I still struggle though, but therapy helped me so much. 

I know life is hard and unfair. It is the pits sometimes. But I know because of the savior it will all be ok. As I prayed for the bad thoughts to go away for so long someone knew exactly what I was going through. The Son of God , Jesus Christ knows exactly how we feel because he has gone through it. We are never alone. He went through all of our pains. Each one. Each time we got our heart broken or were betrayed or whatever bad thing we go through. He is right there with us. And he has given us tools to help. Therapy is one of those tools. It is a gift from God. We all have challenges. We all have struggles. But whatever happens I need you to know you are going to be ok. 

With Mental Illness it is a different ballgame. If my arm broke you could see the cast. But when my brain decides to be stupid you may not notice it. We can get pretty good at hiding the pain. So look out. Be kind always. You never ever know. Crap happens. Life happens. Be kind and love always. The Savior is right there with all of us. He knows us and loves us. It is going to be ok. You are going to be ok.